I had to post to get this off my chest. I was excersizing (if THATS what they want to call the miserable reality check of how truly grotesque and out of shape you actually are) and started crying and turned it off. I AM SICK OF BEING FAT....i hate being this way. I didnt USED to be this way...BUT...i am SICK OF LIVING OFF F**** WATER AND YOGURT. I AM SICK OF VEGGIES. I AM F*** SICK OF CRAPPY BLAND FOOD I SPEND TOO MUCH $$ ON. SICK OF IT SICK OF IT SICK OF IT.
Well, i dont wanna be fat, but i dont wanna be miserable. I cant have it both ways, so im going to go cry about how s**t aint fair and life sucks.
Call it PMS, call it what you will, but i HATE EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING about myself right now. DAMNIT!!!!!

Awww, sweetie, don't cry!!!!! You are so beautiful!!!!!!!

You are not fat-I've seen the photos!!!!!!

Thank Cara, but when you go from a toned size 8 w/ a body dropped from heaven (sorry, but it was) to a size 15 with stretch marks, a dunlop, an a$$ so big you hit it on things and knock crap over, and you cant wear anything cute anymore that you could wear when you WERE an 8, it tends to make you feel differantly. Im DISGUSTING.

{{{{BIG BIG BIG HUGS}}}} Blaine. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I think of all the $$$ I have spent on diet and excersize stuff in the past few years and it makes me sick.

I also have to agree with Cara, I have seen your pictures and you are not fat and you are beautiful. Especially in your wedding dress.

I also know that these words also do not make these feelings go away. Even when I hear then from DH and I know he sincerily means them.

I so wish that I had an easy answer for both of us on how to lose at least 10 lbs with the snap of our fingers. I know it's hard but keep trying, you will get there.

Oh Blainster, I am very sorry and wish you did not feel this way about yourself. At least you are taking steps to get in better shape. Even though, I agree with CaraMish on this, that I do not think you look fat, but I am not you and only you can feel comfy about yourself. I know that one of the ladies on this board will give you more advice on what to do.

If it helps any I am in the same boat, I am 5'1" and I an waayyy over what I should weigh, I am past that size 15 you are talking about. I have the worse sweet tooth and it drives me crazy. I so know how you feel! I cannot walk down the aisle in October at my current weight, so I am going to start exercising and dieting on Monday. Just keep this in mind, the pounds did not go on overnight and they will not come off overnight either, unless you are Anna Nicole Smith "Trim Spa Baby"...PM me if you want to chat, WE CAN DO THIS!!! Mel

I was a size 2-4 brfore I got pregnant and now I am a size 10. For the first time, not counting pregnancy I have a gut. At times I want to break down and cry too and tell DH not to touch my fat.

I do not want to make this about me I just want you to know you are NOT alone and yes it is such a sucky feeling! Cry scream throw things and just let it all out. We can all do this, but I still want to know if cara will make house calls.

For me slim fast starts monday!

Sorry for my tantrum. Im just in a weird place right now i guess. I dunno. Poor DF came home to me bawling my eyes out. He thought someone died. I let it all out, and ya know what he says? "you wanna go get an icecream? will that make you feel better?" NO I DO NOT, AND YOU AINT HELPING!!!! ANNNND he touched my fat roll!!! DO NOT EVER TOUCH FAT WHEN A WOMAN IS CRYING OVER IT!!! His excuse? "I was goin for the boob" Well hon, when the boobs rest on the gut, stay away from it!!!! Dont touch!!!!!!! He tries his best, he really does, but this is one of those things that no one short of a plastic surgeon w/a lipo machine could fix. Ugh. I hate everything right now. I need a piece of cake. Maybe ill "treat myself" to a damn celery stick. WHOOPIDY DO!

this sucks

sweetie...doesn't it suck???!?!?!? i agree that you are soooo pretty, but that doesn't mean sh!t if you dont feel it. i have been struggling with my weight since my baby was born. infact, i weigh MORE now that i did at 9 mo prego!! not to quote fat bastard, but i eat cuz i'm unhappy and i'm unhappy cuz i eat...its a vicious circle, girl!! first step is to get out of the slump your in and know that you can do this...but its gonna suck ass! the pressure of a wedding can be sooooo heavy, i know! but realize your fiance loves you and everything thing about you. he loves you now, yesterday, and tomorrow, NO MATTER YOUR WEIGHT! i think your are beautiful, and your personality just shines that beauty even more. your FH is a lucky man to have a whitty, funny, smart woman like you to call his own. . now, as far as wanting to be the beautiful, skinny, perfect wedding dress models we all see all day long, screw those skinny biotches! i think you look fabulous darling, and you will look perfect on your wedding day even if you don't lose a pound...just like i will! we are the brides, and we will be prettier than any bride that ever was. atleast thats what our wedding guests will think, cuz they love us, and who cares about anyone else, right? if they counted they would be at the wedding!

stay strong! keep going! you can do this! i know you can, blaine!!!

First of all I want to say I saw the pic of you in your dress and you looked beautiful !You know sometimes I feel the same way and my husband gives me this reality check-You are n0t at an unhealthy wieght even though you think you are bigger than you want to be.But not EVERYONE can be the size the media tells us we should be and that is not the only size that is beautiful!The image hoisted upon us by movies and magazines can be difficult to attain for many of us.I think the goal should be health and wellness first . Take it slow and the wieght will drop.Im sure trying a "crash diet" has put a lot of stress on you and its no wonder you are feeling upset and frustrated.Sending a hug to you and rem rarely do others see us as we see ourselves we are always our own harshest critic.

oh sweetheart, I am so sorry that you feel the way you do. I've been there. I know EXACTLY how you feel. After all the work I've done, I can't get rid of my gut. It's just loose skin. There's no more fat to loose, and it's going to be there. I've even cried to my hubby that I want a tummy tuck.
I've seen your photos are you are stunning. I think you have a beautiful figure. Don't worry about cute things. You're an intelligent, beautiful woman, cute is for little girls.
Don't compare yourself to anything or anyone, but who you are today. What makes you so amazing is that there's no one else like you; shape, mind, personality, talent...be who you are!
You know, I read an article that said most woman who are killing themselves trying to be a size 4 don't even have the bone structure to get that small. The media does a number on us, and it's not fair.
This kinda helps me, and I hope it will help you. I want to be the best version of me that I can be. If I can't be smaller than a size 12, then I am going to be the healthiest, happiest, sexiest size 12 that I can ever be.
The only good things that come in small packages are rings. People do not have to be small!
Your health is made up of soooo many different components. The women I see with the tight jeans, tight tops, perfect chest, abs, butt...well, who knows if they are being loved? Who knows if they are happy? Who knows if they are lonely? Who knows if they had work done? The women that I see who are plus sized, who knows if they own their own business? Have a family? Feel great? Maybe, just maybe... Look at your health in a holistic way. The negative feelings that you are feeling...if you live with them day in and day out, well it's harsh, but those will kill you before eating french fries will. Positive thinking is so important for long term good health.
You can't run 10 miles? So? It doesn't mean anything. Do you exercise and sweat? Great! That means everything. Don't worry about how much you don't do, or if you feel out of shape. You'll get to feeling good if you stick with it.
((((((hugs))))) I hope tomorrow is a better day. If there's anything I can do, just let me know.