This is an example if a thin spacer

http://www.etsy.com/listing/70128726/rec..._facet=handmade

and this spacer will not rub onto the pave diamonds and scratch them or loosen them? sorry for all the questions

They are meant to be made small enough. I do not have personal experience though, I just do not wear bands beside my pave. I wear on the other hand. I think Milady ordered one though. You could try pm'ing her, as she isn't on here as much anymore.