I am losing my ever lovin' mind. It is my dear friends' 25th anniversary in early April. Back in 1987 they were so young and he got her a little 1/5 carat ring that she adores to this day. She has always admired my "honkin' rock" as she calls it, but follows it up with, "I'd never replace my wedding ring. It means way too much to me."

Out of the blue and for the first time ever, she said the other day, "I should have a big 'ol Moissanite! It's been 25 years and I deserve it!" Suddenly I've dropped everything to try to accommodate her anniversary dream on 5 weeks' notice. I'm going back and forth with the boy on the sly, telling him what the girl wants, and trying to dig up setting ideas to email to him without her knowing. They live on a very tight budget with three teenagers, and the boy gets fishing lures but doesn't have a clue about jewelry. So you understand my challenge.

He agreed to a 1 carat moissanite for something substantial but not too flashy. He's even considering Amora-izing it because he doesn't want her to be unhappy with it in overcast weather. So far so good.

But we're totally falling apart on a setting plan. I said I do NOT want to be responsible for choosing a setting; that's too personal. But I can't get him past the plain solitaire 2-ring set, and I know for a fact that she wants something with a little pizzazz. I'm trying to talk him into a 3-stone, a trellis, something. He just hangs on the sidelines and says, "I like the plain one but I don't know what she would like."

So do I let him order the plain one that I know she doesn't want because then he chose it? Or do I pick from the six options I have on the table as possibilities and hope I guessed right for her? Or do I get out of it and tell him to present her with a loose stone and let her choose her own setting, knowing that this will kill her because she'll be so excited to have her own "honkin' rock" and then she'll have to send it somewhere for setting and be without it (we all know that impatience thing!)

Too. Much. Stress.

I think she'll be happy with the solitare he picked and likes too.

Maybe you can point him towards a solitare with surprise diamonds?

Or maybe you could say you're thinking about getting another ring and sit her down with Moissy co and ask her which ones she likes?

I was going to suggest "shopping online" with her under the pretext you're looking for yourself and can't decide what to get. Ask her opinion. Then he'll know for sure what she likes.

I like the "shopping online" with her feedback option!!

I like the faux shopping idea but she may tell you what she likes for YOU and not for herself. You'll have to make sure she is thinking of herself when pointing out rings she likes.

My other thought...She loves the 1/5 ct because HE gave it to her. If he upgrades with a plain solitaire then she will probably love that too. I wouldn't push too much. If they go with the plain solitaire she can still bling it up with some pretty bands.

The least risky option is to give her the loose stone. Waiting for the setting will be difficult but then she gets just what she wants...the waiting will seem like nothing when she gets to enjoy her new sparkling ring!!

Invite her over for dinner or watch a movie or whatever and then say "hey, lets get on the computer and dream". If necessary, ply her first with a little alcohol or chocolate to lower her resistance or suspicions. Take her to the Moissco website, point out a few rings you'd like to own someday and then ask her to point out what she likes. Your attitude could be: it's just fun so why not dream a little?

Then take notice of what she likes. Or maybe what she doesn't like. If she pays no attention to solitaires but spends a lot of time looking at 3 stone rings or halo designs, that tells you something even if she never specifically says "that ring is the one!" At least you'd have a direction to push her hubby to.

ME TOO!!

Yes: tread carefully with fake shopping. I have been a victim and duped by my niece for my sis for a Christmas present or two.
I was trying to pick out something 'cool/trendy' for my.niece and ended up with ..well. what's cool and trendy for teens isn't very cool and trendy for me lol.

I agree with morning glory. She's loved and appreciated her honker (love it) for all these years, I'm sure she'll love what he chooses whether she would have picked something like it or not.

We love all things sparkle, and as clueless as our men may be, they do have somewhat of an idea as to what suits us.

Besides, you don't want to be to blamed for picking the wrong setting. Let it be his fault, just make sure he doesn't cut off the tag lol!

Tough call. If you really think she would prefer a non solitaire ring, then go for it with the hubby. The fake shopping idea is great too if you can do it slyly.

You are such an awesome friend for doing this, but I had just a thought.

Did she say she wanted the moissy in passing? Has she mentioned it again? I only ask because I read your post as she has so much emotion tied to her original ring. If she gets a new ering, she might wear it a couple of times and then go back to her original that her heart is tied to.

How about getting her a RHR?? That way she gets some honkin sparkle, still gets to wear her original and then it's less stress for the setting!