Thanks to everyone for your input. Unfortunately, sitting down to do the fake shopping thing isn't an option. She'd know in a heartbeat what I'm doing. She didn't drop that "I deserve a big 'ol Moissanite for my anniversary!" in my lap by accident. She knows that I'm the one who will light a fire under the boy and get him to do it. If I never let on that the boy and are in cahoots, she'll be curious but probably assume that nothing came of it. At least that will preserve an element of surprise and make it more gift-like.

Yes, she for sure wants an upgrade wedding ring, not a RHR. And it's an enthusiastic want, not an in-passing idea. I think it took her a long time to believe that she deserves the luxury, and now that their 25th is upon them, she got past her mind set that such indulgences are only for other people.

I do have a good sense of what she does and doesn't like, since we've been friends for more than 25 years. She's very practical but has flair -- for instance, she packed her kids into an old used Grand Prix to avoid driving a mini van as a mom, and she has simple home furnishings but painted every room with fun colors for personality. I feel good about the options I've narrowed down for her, but it's so hard to commit to saying, "This is the one" when it's something SO personal as a wedding ring.

Here are the settings that are on the table right now. Everything fulfills her needs of a) low and/or gradually set, b) no melee for durability, c) not too busy or flashy.

The boy likes this one: http://www.moissaniteco.com/low-set-round-moissanite-solitaire-ring-p-8246.html

I like these three best:
http://www.moissaniteco.com/65mm4mm-round-brilliant-moissanite-3stone-ring-15ct-p-11730.html
http://www.moissaniteco.com/double-prong...ing-p-8219.html
http://www.moissaniteco.com/round-moissanite-half-bezel-bypass-solitaire-ring-p-9101.html

For reference, here's what her original ring looks like, which she chose for herself 25 years ago on something like a $150 budget. But hers has rubies instead of sapphires. This is what I mean when I say that she goes for practical with a little bit of flair.

I love her original! I've always loved that type of wedding set!

Do you get to be there when she gets her new sparklie?

I really like the 3 stone but they all fit the big ole moissy bill so you can't go wrong.

what about the solitaire he likes...and talk him into a small mm moissy band instead of the plain gold band? Total compromise and she will still have the bling!

grac3923 -- because she really needs a low set stone, the bands all have that bump out under the stone that don't allow a standard band to sit flush. Unfortunately I really don't think she'd like a gap. She's a "neat and clean" style person and I think she needs a fitted/flush band to stay sane.

elf925 -- I'm pretty sure this will be presented during their traditional anniversary dinner with just the two of them. Either that or the boy will be jumping out of his skin wanting to give it to her and he'll put it under her pillow that morning or something. I can see him being too excited to wait. As much as he doesn't get jewelry, he DOES get making the girl's eyes light up. They are such a wonderful couple!

What fun! To be a partner-in-sparklie-"crime"!

Do you think she'd like if the matching band to the solitaire has sparklies on it? Perhaps MoissCo might make it so? If she wanted extra bling (and has longer fingers), then one on each side?!

Out of all the ones you posted I think the one he chose is the most beautiful too.

I like the one her husband picked too. A curved band with stones seems like a good idea.

What about this one?
She could have the plain wedding band AND a blingy anniversary band that would sit flush against it. It is still low set and simple. ???
http://www.moissaniteco.com/4prong-heavy-low-profile-round-moissanite-solitaire-ring-p-8227.html
Perhaps the head could be changed out to something with double prongs for a bit more flare??

Would it be possible to show him the 5-6 that you think she'd like, and have him pick from those?

We're on an super-tight budget here and a band with stones isn't going to be doable. Going to a three stone ring adds $100 and keeps us at just the red line, but if we instead do an additional stone band or replace the matching band with a curved stone band, then we push substantially over the red line.

I keep catching myself thinking in terms of "It's only an extra $300." But then I remember that they have three teenagers with pesky needs like shoes and groceries.

sparkle621 -- yep, I've been sending him links and pointing out specifics along the way. We started with about nine options and he chose the plain one from that pool. The reason I'm iffy about it is because his reasoning was "I like how plain it is," instead of "SHE will like how plain it is."

It's nice to hear that so many of you like the plain one. It calms my nerves a bit to think that maybe she won't be as underwhelmed by it as I fear.

I'll keep everyone posted when the boy makes a decision. We only have 2-3 weeks before an ordering deadline. I think I'm going to place the order and have it shipped to my house so that he won't get caught, and if I'm the one to open the box and make sure everything is ok, I'll snap some photos to share here.

If anyone has any new ideas from here, hit me up. Thanks, everyone!