She did. Now on to number 3!

Those girls on that board make girls my age look so...

We are not judgemental... we are not judgemental...

I don't think we are judgmental. I am certainly not judging her. But I am saddened by the mentality of some people in general. But I was happy to see that only 1 person said "do It! Great idea!!"

I feel bad for her...and him. It is so sad to me; not that she wants a bigger stone. I don't care about that, and think if you can afford it, why not. I like bigger stones too. But that some people don't seem to get or understand what marriage is or about, or how much it takes to make them work. And how, at the end of the day, when we are old and wrinkled, all we will be thankful is the love that we have shared with our partners for the XXX years. All my "stuff" won't matter, but a lifetime with my DH will.

Well, I will admit I am judgy about her considering lying to her FI. I am not judgy about her wanting a different stone, it would by hypocritical for me to say one should never change their ring, just the methods and measures she is considering to get that different stone. I also recognize my judgment comes from my own personal experiences and beliefs about relationships, marriage, personal honesty and so forth. I do not think it is a bad thing to be honest with her about what I think, she posted it for people to answer! I do not always see judgments or "negative responses" as a bad thing. If people want only positive reaction or something that supports their action, they should just tell their dog, ha ha. I think it is rather self aware to be open to different, and negative, reaction and allow yourself to see different views whatever you decide. Some people certainly do react when they don't hear what they want though....those people should have told their dog.

I find it very, very saddening that she (and one other person) thinks that lying to your supposed life partner is a good idea. If someone feels they can't talk about something so minor in the scale of things as a ring, I also do seriously question their understanding or commitment to marriage, or the nature of their relationship. Like jcent said, at the end of day, the baubles and other physical items do not matter one lick. Nice to have, but not what is important or what provides us our connection to each other, and not what my own marriage is about.

The OP, I noticed, has not come back to post, so I am curious as to whether she is reading, or just abandoned it altogether. I do hope she does take something from it though and talks to her FI, or just loves her stone as is.

I thought I read a reply from her...It said said something like, you guys are right, I wasn't thinking cleary about how he would feel, I am not goimg to so it.

Ok so I just read this whole thread and OH my, can not believe the WB girl deal....like someone mentioned, marriage is something so full of important decisions, makes me think that she will have a reaaaaaal hard time wrapping her head about many of them.

Anyway, I too considering doing a lil switch-a-roo of my old setting without talking to hubby/or maiking up some BS story but I slept on it and decided: "NO, he is my partner and I shall talk to him"

And I did and oh I am SO glad I did. I sloooowly told him about my DREAM ring and all the ideas I want to add to it and to my surprise he was super happy about the cute details (hearts, engraving, adding son's birth stone...etc).

Another thing that really annoys me is on RingEnvy. You can put how much it cost with the money symbol, (so say you had an expensive ring that cost a lot you'd put five $$$$$).
It kinda bugs me how people with like 1/2 carat solitaires put it the most expensive, I know to some people it is expensive, but compared to some of the rings out there it should be lower on the scale!

This is the scariest thing to wonder about as a guy. High maintenance = most unattractive quality e.v.e.r.

In regards to that WB post, I'm not even very sentimental, yet if I went through all the time and effort to spend $17k+ on a perfect 1.5 carat stone?? Wow. If she said, "Oops, sorry, but I wanted a 2ct. on my 4.5 size finger," I would die a little inside. In fact, I don't care how long we had been together, it would make me reevaluate the relationship.

Mens' greatest desire in a woman is one who gets excited about everything we do. We want love and we want respect. Sex is a close second (lol, just being honest), but adoration is number one. If my months worth of planning weren't respected due to a preconceived notion about a ring...? It would be a giant red flag.

Just to be the devil's advocate here for a sec...

If she wanted a 2 carat and he knew that...as in she didn't stop talking about it...and he presented her with a 1.5? She's only seeing that he didn't listen to a word she said and only picked out what made him feel good about it. And, as a guy doing the giving and the asking, he should have asked her the appropriate questions. What's more important to you, size, cut, clarity or color? And went on down from there.

One thing I have learned is you have to let go of expectations of what you think or want your partner to do, or you will never be happy. She needs to let go of the 2 carat and ask for - or have a hand in the picking of - a blingy band to go with it. And love that he loved her enough to give her the best he could afford - which was pretty darn badass.

Must suck to be her.

LOL, first world problems.