Long story short- We're 26 & 32, have been together for 2.5 years, living together for 2 years. We talk about children, growing old together, etc.. but when it comes specifically to marriage, he always makes "light" of it and I never really push for a serious discussion. (I could Dr. Phil it and say it's because he was engaged for 7 years before our relationship and she would never plan the wedding. So I think he's a bit burned from that experience)

Anyway-

I want to come up with a way to approach the subject in a fun, non-pressured way. I was thinking of doing a power point presentation.. totally cheesy with like 80s love songs playing in the background. I also want to educate him on moissanite during the slide show.

Is this an awful idea? Do you guys have any other suggestions to approaching it in a light hearted manner? Thank you!!

Yep, been there! DH and I met at 17 and were together for 8 years before we got married. Everytime I bought up marriage he made light of it too. For him, being the product of a horrific forced marriage and 2 selfish parents really burned him.

Anyway, I used to try and get on the topic in a fun, lighthearted way too......but to him it was still pressure and no matter how you look at it, he wasn't going to propose until HE was ready and felt good about it. Once I completely backed off about the subject it happened lol.

Now, we have been married for 8 years! We were really young, so our story is a bit different but I think all guys really hate feeling the pressure and sometimes it makes them dig in their heels!

BUT, with all that being said, I think perhaps making sure he will ever want to get married is important if its a dealbreaker for you. Some guys just don't want to and that's something I would want to know!!

I don't know. I wouldn't say it's an awful idea. But I personally would find it difficult to have a lighthearted conversation about something so serious.

If he takes it in a lighthearted way, his "lighthearted" or "off hand" response might hurt your feelings, since it's obvious that it's a topic of some importance to YOU. He may just go with a lighthearted response to it, and not realize how serious you are? Only you know his personality, and what he'd find funny, but no matter how much effort you put into it, you can't control his response.

I'd say just be prepared to have to say by the end of your presentation, "I would like to discuss marriage. I know this makes you uncomfortable, but I want to have a conversation about it, where we can both air our feelings on it. If you want to have some time to think about it and what you'd like to say, then lets set aside a specific day/time to talk about it. No pressure, just honest conversation so we can get one the same page."

I hope everything works out for you!

Opinions will vary wildly here... I tend to think a man will ask if and when wants to, and he doesn't need help or pushing. He may have a plan in mind, or he may not be ready yet.

If you want some moissy jewelry, like a rhr or earrings, get it for yourself, and educate him about moissy like that.

I know he wants marriage eventually via his drunk moments where he talks about how excited he to marry me, the moment where we say "I Do", our future family.. etc.

What you're saying makes complete sense. I know he's feeling the pressure from family/friends who keep asking about it.

And I actually want to completely back off but I don't want him thinking I want a 4,000 dollar ring from Kay's. So, I suppose my biggest dilemma is wanting to educate him about moissanite without pushing him. I know guys can get dooped by the diamond industry.

So, would some simple literature about moissanite and the statement of "Whenever you're ready, I want you to know that I'd like this type ring for these reasons" and completely back off?

Oh that's smart! I was just thinking how I'd like to get some earrings.

Men are funny creatures, with very delicate egos, lol. Too much "help" and they can feel like we are taking over or mothering them etc... Get the earrings, show him the site while looking at the earrings, *don't go on the engagement ring sections*, and say something like, "Isn't this great! No need for diamonds for this girl". Give him a little wink or something, then drop it. He isn't dunmb, he will know what you are saying

Agree 100%

Exactly! I want him to know that I'm not "taking over" or trying to be a control freak.

I just really would love to be a part of the ring shopping experience. I would rather him propose to me with an empty ring box and us get the ring together. I saw the last ring he picked out for his ex and it was awful. So let's all say a silent prayer that he does not get me a yellow gold, marquise diamond solitare. :shudders:

Moissanite co has a wish list, and Beth at Schubach's has a little file of the 2 rings that I like. My bf wanted a list so it's a bit different, but maybe you could e-mail him a moissaniteco 'wish list' with idea's for special occasions and an engagement ring. I generally agree that pressure for engagement isn't a good way to go. Also from what I'm reading it's important to you, so being lighthearted isn't fair to you either. Good luck