Some men may respond well and some might not!

Make sure you are prepared if he says "Im not in the mood, turn it off" You need to be emotionally prepared for that and be able to smile and say ok, we can talk about it later, in keeping with your light hearted theme.

I think what I just mentioned is how a light hearted theme can backfire. If you really want to become engaged, I think that maybe you should just tell him, in a sit down, hey Im serious kinda way. Not heavy or demanding at all though.

You ever notice how when you get in an argument, if someone comes in and yells, you yell louder etc... But if someone come in and quiets things down, you get calmer? The tone sets the mood and guides the flow of the conversation. If you present it in too light hearted of a way, he may not take you or know how serious you are.

I'm sorry, I read that you want to approach the subject; is proposing to HIM out of the question?

personally I don't think its wrong to tell your SO that its your goal to get married and have kids and that its something you want sooner than later. I had this conversation with my last SO. We are not together anymore so its obvious that it didn't work but I found out that he wasn't going to change his mind on the subject and him saying that for me showed it was time to move on. It wasn't fun but it was better than being stuck in a relationship with him still and not being any closer to getting married and having kids. Also I don't blame our conversation as the cause for us breaking up either, rather our incompatibility when it came to marriage and children. Sure you can wait and see if he will pop the question but you never know he might be "comfortable with the way things are" and not think your relationship needs to move on to that level. When I asked I was very blunt but thoughtful, I didn't try and hide the question or skirt around it. I don't think anyone should be ashamed or fearful to tell an SO what they want in life or a relationship.

If you are going to be married you both should be able to have the conversation directly, without being drunk. If that can't happen, if he won't discuss it seriously, if you have to prance around the conversation, if he won't talk about it until he's had a few...those are signals you should not ignore.

As for picking the ring, once it is determined that you will get engaged you can let him know that you want input into choosing your own ring. Again, not a big deal for two people who are ready to commit to a lifetime together.

Good advice, thank you. I'll plan on having "the talk" fairly soon over dinner. I'm just as bad as this as he is. I know that we should be having serious conversations and we do talk about future parenting styles/finances/shared goals etc but I'm never quite sure what to bring up in a marriage talk.

He knows that I want to marry him. If I bring up the conversation, I don't want to sound like I'm giving him an ultimatium. I suppose I could just approach it in a "When do you see yourself ready for marriage?" to open up the conversation.

(Sorry if I sound like I'm talking to myself.. I am

+++1

I come from a culture where "waiting for a man to propose" is not how you do things,so for me the whole "lady in waiting" thing is quite hard to understand.I could never just sit around,walking on eggshells to not pressure him,and just waiting for him to be ready or whatever.When I knew I wanted to get married,I just went to him and told him very clearly.I told him "I'm not joking,I'm extremely serious.I want to talk about this without you turning the conversation into a joke.I want to get married,and to get married soon.What do you think?".We talked about it,and a year later we were married.
Now,this obviously is different from your situation because our culture of marriage is very different,but to me,if you can't even talk freely about your feelings and get an honest answer,then there is something off that need to be addressed before marriage.
Now,you don't need to keep pushing the issue either,but have an honest,open talk about it together,and then just let him do his thing if it's in your culture and is important to you and him,is not only not too much to ask,but just the right thing to do if you plan to spend your lives together,imho.

I agree. My husband always made references to our future and "when we get married" and teased about it, but would never go through with it. He would just make some off handed joke when I asked if it was ever going to happen. So I took it upon myself! We do NOT live in the 50's anymore and we are more than capable of taking care of ourselves. Most of Work and aren't homemakers (unless by choice) and do more than just cook and clean. Most of us have asked a guy out, so why not ask "the question"?

I took us out for our Anniversary dinner at a nice restaurant and we talked about how great our relationship has been and what we looked forward to, and then just out of the blue I asked him! I didn't have a ring (though eventually I got him a nice ring that we refer to as his engagement ring), but asked him if he would marry me. HE SAID YES! Then we went and picked out my engagement ring!

The end result...we are happily married. Some day when we decide to renew our vowels ( I am thinking he is planning on next year) then I will get a re-proposal from him, but until then we are perfectly happy that I proposed. It is even somewhat of an ego booster with him from the guys.....he brags all the time that HIS woman loved him enough to propose to him instead of waiting for him to have to do it! lol

So moral of my story is that if you KNOW that it is something that you have talked about and know the he does have plans of eventually marrying but just hasn't done it yet, and you know you would really like to, would you not consider proposing yourself. A lot of women that I know waited forever for a ring, had never honestly thought about it themselves because it's so ingrained that the man has to ask the women.

I am totally new here but I wanted to post to encourage you to think about proposing to him as well. I had the same type of situation except my now husband didn't even have any convenient excuse other than saying he is a self-proclaimed lazy Gen-Xer. We had been together for over 5 years and living together for over 3! He is also a feminist and was totally open to a proposal. I knew this, but it was still very scary! I got him a cheap stainless steel ring and wrote a little comic book because that way I didn't have to say the words out loud and there would still be a cute story. (I think if more women propose they will see how scary it is -- even if you think you know the answer, suddenly it seems like it could go either way!) I had a lot of anxiety about what it said about our relationship (ie that he really didn't want to get married) and that even if it wasn't an ultimatum he would take it as one. There were many advantages: 1) I felt like I was in control of my own life instead of being driven insane by the "waiting game;" 2) Seeing his reaction to the proposal and how excited and happy he was allayed my fears that he didn't want to marry; 3) Everyone we know gave him a hard time about it in a good way which kind of helped me because they vented my frustrated for me! Absolutely no one we told thought he didn't want to marry me. Women that we told basically called me a rock star, and men and we told (including his family) told him he was very lucky. He tells people that he was thrilled (which is true) and that he said yes immediately because he might be lazy but he's not stupid!

Good luck with whatever you decide, I know how much anxiety you are feeling, but getting it out in the open now matter how the conversation goes will feel better than holding it all inside.

geez 32 and he has already been engaged to someone else for 7 years? he is probably taking this really slow and that is ok. You are still young IMO. I wouldn 't sugggest you propose to him, it works out for some but since we know he has proposed in the past we know he has it in him to propose when he is ready.