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#738680 - 05/03/12 09:24 AM Re: "Asking Him" Need Advice.. [Re: fday]
megan31 Offline
Ashaholic

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 342
my opinion and advice.....come right out and ask him. When I met my husband I was going to give him a year, and then if he didn't ask me to marry him I was just going to come out and ask him point blank what he wanted in his future...in my opinion...2 years is long enough to know if you want to be with someone forever or not, and if he's not sure now, I would move on. Just my opinion.
Good luck!

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#738681 - 05/03/12 09:25 AM Re: "Asking Him" Need Advice.. [Re: fday]
fday Offline
Curious

Registered: 01/04/12
Posts: 14
Thanks! Yeah, Im not insanely concerned. He did express that we want the same thing though a time frame wasnt discussed. He asked how I saw it going in my head and I said "Well you can keep the ring until you are ready whether it be a month or 6 months I dont care..then we can do a standard yearish engagement." He seemed to like that answer. So we'll see. Im glad its out in the open and we're planning on discussing it more. smile

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#738694 - 05/03/12 09:42 AM Re: "Asking Him" Need Advice.. [Re: fday]
tncosby Offline
Ashaholic

Registered: 03/09/10
Posts: 260
This is my most honest opinion and it is truly from the heart. I wouldn't make light of the situation. This is when you need to have a serious heart to heart. Marriage may not be important to him because some people don't need a piece of paper to define their relationship. However, if you want to get married, he should be willing to make u happy and marry you. This shows his love for you. You have to tell your guy what you want directly. This is your life and happiness. Also, if you are a traditional person who wants to be asked, don't ask him, this will only set hard feelings later. Now with that said, you have to be prepared for his response because you may not get the response u want. I hope this helps. Remember this is your life and happiness don't be afraid to say what u want.

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#738706 - 05/03/12 10:07 AM Re: "Asking Him" Need Advice.. [Re: fday]
morning glory Offline
Connoisseur

Registered: 05/05/11
Posts: 2022
If he is just toying with you then that seems very cruel even if his intent is to surprise you. This is important enough to you that you ask a bunch of strangers for their advice so you need to muster up a bit more courage and ask him if he truly does intend to propose in the next 6 months (the outside time you mentioned). Let him know how this is making you feel, that it wasn't easy for you to bring up at all and if he's still playing around you want to know!! If he does intend to propose then you can still be surprised at the timing and substance of the proposal but you can be at peace in the meantime too.

Anticipating a proposal is supposed to a fun kind of anticipation, not upsetting.

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#738732 - 05/03/12 10:44 AM Re: "Asking Him" Need Advice.. [Re: fday]
kangaroocrazy Offline
The Florentine Diamond

Registered: 02/25/11
Posts: 5296
Loc: Washington
I have a feeling he really just wants to TRY to surprise you.
Why dont you give it some time,..like WAIT till he has the ring for a week or so,..and see what he does.

Was this a ready made ring??? Which would come sooner.

Then if nothing happens,..have a serious talk with him.

But my instinct is that he really wants to try to have a surprise element here and do something special for you.
Especially for what he wrote back to you......

Give a little time.
_________________________
www.monroefunnyfarm.com

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#738743 - 05/03/12 10:56 AM Re: "Asking Him" Need Advice.. [Re: fday]
Samma Offline
Afficionado

Registered: 11/07/08
Posts: 536
I think women spend a lot of time trying to figure out what men are thinking, doing, what's motivating them, and I think men don't really spend a whole lot of time with any of that. So my personal practice is to assume what my guy is saying is pretty much what he means.
If you REALLY think he's trying to be vague so he can surprise you, then wait. But if (as I personally think is more likely) he has told you where he's at, then you have to decide how long you are willing to be in limbo. And, at some point, you'll need to communicate that to him.
_________________________
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#744753 - 05/22/12 09:27 AM Re: "Asking Him" Need Advice.. [Re: fday]
fday Offline
Curious

Registered: 01/04/12
Posts: 14
Just a quick update-

That weekend we had a more in depth talk. He actually initated the conversation and he ended it with an enthusiastic "Let's do this!"

We went on vacation this weekend with his family and as I was floating around the pool, I see him talking in depth with them, pulling up something on his phone, etc. His sister came up to me later and said that he said "She's my forever" and had secretly done all his own research on moissy, and showed them the ring.

We talked more about it last night just in general stuff like how much does he want to be involved in the wedding planning. He did admit that he didn't like the ring, so we changed it after looking at my other favorites. So, all in all we've worked everything out and I'm super happy. Thank you for all your advice!

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#744781 - 05/22/12 11:35 AM Re: "Asking Him" Need Advice.. [Re: fday]
Samma Offline
Afficionado

Registered: 11/07/08
Posts: 536
Glad to hear it! Yay for clear communication! And yay for sparkle-plotting!
_________________________
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https://diamondbistro.com/index.php?a=4&b=1

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