So here is the deal ladies...

My soon-to-be fiance makes about 11k/month *(pre-tax) and his bonus is around 30k per year (he's expecting another salary raise this year). I am in graduate school, have an old car, ride the bus to classes, and live in graduate housing (he lives in another town).

Before I learned about moissanite, I planned on getting a "used" diamond so that I could get a larger size at a better price. Also, I was willing to have a small tiny wedding and renting a gown in favor for a larger stone...I love bling!

I LOVE large diamonds, but I also LOVE the earth and I don't like to even wear gold if I can help it . So that is why I LOOOVEE moissanite! I want a 3.5ct cushion cut. I know that, right now, our lives don't "look" like we have money, so I fear that everyone will see it and automatically think...that it's fake. In the future, when I am working and we have a home, I'm sure people won't judge...as much (I know I'll be judged either way). I am proud of moissanite, but I know some will judge me if it's not a diamond so I'd rather just avoid the topic/say "it's a diamond ring, yes" because the setting is full of diamonds.

Do you guys think I should just get a smaller stone? Should I just be happy and wear the ring proudly? Should I get the ring I want, then just wear it when I am not at school (I might feel like a fraud with a 3.5ct moissanite while riding the bus).

LOVE YOU GUYS!
pilgrim

I'd wear the 3.5 ct anywhere I wanted!

I wear big stones all the time and don't worry about it. I don't pass anything off though.

NO!!!! Don't get a smaller stone, get the stone size you want

You will never please everyone anyway so you may as well please yourself. If you get complimented on your ring just say "thanks" and leave it at that. Nobody would want you to go into a lengthy speech about the pros and cons of moissy, they are just complimenting you on a sparkly, beautiful ring. If they think it's a diamond then so be it!

If you feel a bit self concious at school then you could just not wear it, but I say wear it with pride. It's what you and your FI want that matters!

I say get what you want. However, since you seem concerned with appearances you should know that a similar diamond would cost upwards of $40,000...and the ring setting on top of that (I'd guess a $40,000+ diamond would go in at least a $5-$10,000 diamond setting). If that fits in with the income/lifestyle then it might seem very reasonable. You could say that you got a great deal on the stone (if you pass it as a diamond) and most people don't really know prices of nice diamonds anyway...they will just look and see $$$$$. You can always turn the stone in on the bus if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

What's wrong with riding the bus to classes? As opposed to driving there?

It's really about what HE can afford anyways, not what you can afford, right? So I wouldn't worry about it, especially at school.

IMO: As long as it doesn't hurt you finacially get what makes you happy.
I've seen people judged for not having enough bling (insert office gossip here saying "OMG, he's so cheap for giving her his grandmother's sapphire ring")
Most likely the people whose opinion you care about the most will already know that your fiance could afford a more expensive diamond.

Do what makes you happy - everyone is a critic and you will never make everyone happy. The only thing that matters is how you and your guy feel. I say rock the larger stone 'cause that's what you want!!

it took a while for our lives to catch up with my bling, but it does eventually get what you want!!

This antique diamond is just short of $20k on the Jewels by Erica Grace website.

http://jewelsbyericagrace.smugmug.com/Jewelry/Loose-Diamonds/347ct-Antique-Cushion-Cut/23836768_WT92sQ#!i=1932214884&k=RHWmP7f

If you want people to think yours is a diamond you could buy an OEC Amora and say its an antique cut but not actually say its a diamond. You could say you got it for a really good price...which is the truth